Brokeback Mountain

After all these years of humming and hawing, I finally just watched it.

A once hugely controversial film, Brokeback Mountain crossed a very touchy Hollywood barrier: can we allow blatant homosexuality on-screen? Screenwriters Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana thought so after reading the short story by Annie Proulx. Though it took them a long time to find a director to actually shoot it, eventually director Ang Lee [Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon] picked it up -and 'needed to make it'.

After its successful release with Focus Features in 2005, the film not only managed to offend an entire population of stay-at-home moms [who only watched it for the attractive male leads] but it officially broke the ground for thousands of screenwriters to write more 'edgy' films. It was raved about by art and film communities, laughed at by teenagers and beer-drinking men and cried over by such single women as think such things are touching and romantic.

Personally, I thought it looked hilariously bad, and mocked it a lot.

However, against my better judgement, I finished my science homework early yesterday afternoon and plopped myself behind my television with a mug of tea, a critical eye and a vow to 'give this infamous movie a chance!' Surprisingly, as the film played out, my firm bias against it began to dissolve at a disturbing rate. Ang Lee's directing gave the story a realistic, raw feel that drew me into the characters and their problems; sweeping aside all the hype and 'lawl gay cowboys' that swam in my head. It became more than all that as the story unfolded.

To add to this strangely effective storytelling was a great cast, beautiful cinematography, interesting shots, subtle [but gripping] dialogue and acting which told more with silence than with words.

In conclusion, once the film was over [and I had put aside the graphic, hard-to-take sex scenes which found me squirming and giggling immaturely behind a pillow], I discovered the horrifying and humbling truth: I did not hate Brokeback Mountain!

With that shocker being said, I don't actually recommend that you watch it. In fact, I don't recommend that you do anything at all. The purpose of this post was to make something clear: sometimes films that you thought would be terrible can take you by surprise.

Even if the characters are gay cowboys.

Lawl.

4 days

Friday - busing tables at The Yardbirds Suite jazz club

Saturday - Tara came over! We watched the eerie Peacock and zombie-filled 28 Days Later with tea and green salad

Saturday - 8 hours of Lifesaving Instructor Training

Tomorrow - A brand new essay, computing math, reading science, lane swimming and quizzing

parachutes

... I listen to Starbucks music.

So wearing chunks of flayed cow is "in" now?

I grieve the day we became so desensitized that getting real attention from the public has less to do with real talent and more to do with real meat hanging off your body.

Lady Gaga's newest dress is not only powerfully shocking, but is probably the only dress I've ever seen that can induce both projectile vomiting and E. Coli symptoms in the same instant.

I have to give it to her, though: she does know how to get people going. I mean, my eyes nearly hopped from my head towards the nearest ice pick when I saw it. Congratulations, Gaga. You've officially invented the grossest outfit ever.

[Of course, once she decides to gut her ex-boyfriend and arrange his entrails over her critical areas, this stunt will fade from 'horrifyingly disgusting' into the realm of 'mildly edgy': taking with it my last shred of faith in humanity. Now, please excuse me while my stomach commits suicide in protest and I die.]

Under stress, I tend to clean things.

So naturally, since I've been feeling stressed lately, I completely scoured my room:

I tore the sheets off the bed, looked through my clothes, sorted my books, threw away old swimsuits and sports bras, vacuumed, took out the garbage, put things in and out of storage and rearranged my closet.

In my endeavors I added a quarter-sized spider to my collection. I feel a lot better now.

Hurdles Even Here

So it started in your ovaries
A stone, a seedling
Our bones entwined
A warning from the orderlies
A bulge for bleeding
This will take it's time

So it all ran down the telephone
And saw me clearly
Only nine years old
Calmly cast in styrofoam
In my Tony Lamas
When the shock takes hold

Mom, there are hurdles here
That I cannot seem to clear
Dad, there are demons around
And though I said that I
Said I’d be all right, I lied
I lied
I lied
I lied

So fix your brood and belly now
Get your fingers wringing
Get your loins unstained
It’ll eat you from the inside out
Until it comes out screaming
Until it all falls away

Dad, there are hurdles here
That I cannot seem to clear
Mom, there are demons around
And though I said that I
Said I’d be all right, I lied
I lied
I lied
I lied

-Colin Meloy, The Decemberists

They liked it!

In f*ckin' Bruges!

I can't believe how much I like this movie. I'm about to see it again for easily the tenth time. It's Irish and R-rated; full of black humor, good actors and gorgeous cinematography. I've shown it to all my friends and this tenth time will be to my parents. I hope I don't get grounded again...

I am writing essays

My mother has decided it will be good for me to write an essay every day: narrative essays, descriptive essays, persuasive essays, evaluation essays... name it. It's been challenging and even kind of fun.

School Resolutions

I hate that last week I was so excited for school to start, only to find that when it finally did, I became listless and bemoaned over it. This kind of attitude is of a nature which I utterly detest in other people and therefore refuse to allow in myself. I want to get rid of it as completely and quickly as possible. I've allowed in myself for long enough! These are some of the things which I know are the cause:

> Lack of exercise [especially since swimming ended]

> Lack of sleep [late night writing/reading in my room]

> Not eating well [large portions of calorie-ridden food]

> Lack of motivation [I tell myself there'll be 'lots of time later']

> Distractions [other projects I want work on, films I want to see, social engagements, etc]

> Lack of focus

These are all awful, and typical, reasons for my lack of vigor for schoolwork. To break them, I went to bed at 10:30 instead of 12:00 last night, ate spinach and grapes for supper and ran in the field with my dogs. This morning I forced myself to write an essay [not great, but it's practice.] I feel a little better. I plan to carry this trend into the following weeks.

I really want to start acting like an adult; especially now that I've started doing adult things and have been put in adult situations. I've decided not to resist driving practice, to make myself write or compute equations or read science, to talk to people civilly and properly without as much childish stammering or blurting and to work first, play later. There are things to be done, and being a useless, unproductive blob is not an option.

I'm going to succeed! I just need a winning attitude. Wish me luck on my endeavors to gain one!

Shopping List:

> Salon shampoo for curly hair [this hatred of my frustrating locks shall end!]

> Zippo lighter

> Laptop

> A proper jacket

> All Star Converses

> A proper stereo

> TOMS

> Big headphones

Upon discovering the face of Cillian Murphy, I decided to finally update my blog.

I'm currently with my cousins Julie & Rena in British Columbia; watching a bunch of good movies I've seen before [such as Memento, Doctor Strangelove, Sunshine, Some Kind of Wonderful and The Breakfast Club] and a few awful films they've decided to show me [such as John Tucker Must Die, Encino Man and Family Guy episodes]; not to mention wandering the town of Abbotsford, annihilating huge-ass house spiders and catching crabs by the Pacific ocean. It's been exceedingly fun.

Apart from that, this summer has been uneventful save for some camping, Capital Ex, turning 17, some fun days-out with friends and Rock The River Tour [Flyleaf was amazing.] Oh, let's not forget Cillian Murphy. He's very fine. I recommend his films; which I started paying more attention to this summer.

Anyway, I'm going in for swimming instructor training on the 19th and really, really hope to get a job in that field later this year -or even early the next. It will be so great to have money! Also, my last year of school is starting next week and I'm very excited to get strated!

Life is so exciting. Mine has finally begun!